10 Mindset Shifts That Have Actually Changed My Behavior

When I decided to start my coaching business, I learned two things:

1. I needed to change my personal mindset and habits so I could work for myself. Since I no longer had a boss to keep me accountable and prioritize tasks, I had to put in the work to do it myself!

2. I also needed to learn more about mindset and behavior in general so I could help my clients. I quickly learned coaching is only partially about workout plans and exercises. A HUGE part of coaching is helping people understand and change their behavior so they can stick with a workout plan. Something my fitness certifications definitely didn’t cover.

I went down a bit of a self-development rabbit hole, and I very quickly realized that it’s a bunch of white dudes telling people that they could have the lifestyle they want if they just *believe it.* No talk about privilege or circumstances, no actual strategy. Because it worked for these men, obviously that same system will work for you! /sarcasm

I went looking for better, evidence-based mindset and behavior change information. Luckily, I found Dr. Karin Nordin and her business Body Brain Alliance. She also led me to other mindset resources that have heavily influenced the way I coach and how I help my clients start or change their fitness routine.

If you’re looking for more in depth mindset info and how it applies to exercise, check out these books.

Below are 10 mindset shifts and strategies that have been most impactful with my behavior and help me be a better coach for my clients. While I’ve separated these out, many of them are interrelated. It’s not one shift that just fixes everything, but they all work together to help me change my behavior!

1. What action can I take right now that most aligns with the person I want to be?

I use this one ALL the time, which is why it’s #1!

Your behavior and goals are deeply tied to your values and identity. To help you clarify what’s important to you, answer these questions:

1. What do you prioritize and value right now?
2. Who is the person you’re working on becoming?
3. What does that person prioritize and value?
4. What does that person’s day look like/what actions are they taking?

Take some time to reflect on what’s important to you and the actions that help you move closer to the person you want to be.

Mindset Tip: Think small here! Instead of thinking about starting a whole multi-day workout plan, a better action might be finding where you can fit five minutes of exercise into your day.

Here’s a situation that’s common for my clients (and myself!):
You make a workout plan. You want to do it, because you want to be a strong and active person! But when the time comes to change into gym clothes and get moving, you’re too tired, you don’t feel motivated, you don’t want to get up anymore.

It’s okay to feel resistance- that’s completely normal! But feeling unmotivated, feeling that resistance doesn’t mean you have to abandon your plan. Instead, try asking yourself which action aligns more with the person you want to be: going to the gym or staying on the couch?

I use this one so much because it reminds me how much my actions define my values. I want to be a strong person and I highly value being active. Even when I feel like I don’t want to get up and work out, reminding myself of these values goes a long way in getting me out the door. I don’t have to be excited about it, but I can still get up and do it.

Similar/Alternative: What action will help me feel my best right now?

Sometimes the best thing you can do is… do the thing you don’t want to do! The best action you can take isn’t always the most fun or relaxing thing. Even when I don’t want to get up and do a workout, reminding myself of how good I feel post-workout gives me the boost I need to get moving. I know that if I skip my workout, I won’t feel as good later on.

By bringing the attention to the right now, you get your brain thinking about immediate benefits. When it comes to fitness, a lot of the benefits people tell you to focus on are years down the road (heart health, joint health, balance as you age, etc.). By focusing on the immediate benefits, you’ll help yourself feel more motivated when you want to get going.

2. Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing?

We are constantly doing things because we feel like we should… and then wondering why we feel so much resistance to it! There are a lot of rules, especially when it comes to exercise, that we feel like we have to follow. Things that make a workout “count” or “worth it,” things that fill your workouts with social media’s must-have exercises and optimizations, and more.

I could go on and on about diet culture and all the things society has made you feel like you need. But the reality is, most of those rules exist now because people wanted to make you feel inadequate so they could sell you things to “fix” it.

When you realize you can do things your way or in a way you enjoy, it changes everything! I got rid of a lot of the things I felt like I should be doing and started doing things I wanted to do and things that made me feel good.

Where are you doing things in your life because you feel like you should? Can you make adjustments or do something else that’s more aligned with what you want to do?

3. Practice is necessary.

A pattern that’s easy to fall into is beating yourself up for not being able to “just do it.” I think it’s important to release some of that pressure! When it comes to changing your mindset or behavior, it takes time! You need practice and you won’t go from 0-60 right away. You don’t just read a self-help book and immediately change, right?

Just like you practice the exercises in a workout, you need to practice doing the behavior you want to be doing.

I see this all the time with people starting a workout plan. People go all in on a workout plan and tell themselves they’ll work out multiple times a week. But because they haven’t practiced skills or released the pressure of having to be ultra consistent and never miss days, they burn out and drop off of the plan.

Most change is slow and steady, and you build confidence as you take those small steps. The goal isn’t to jump to perfection or 100% consistency, the goal is to just get 1% better each week or month.

4. Discipline isn’t a skill.

SO much information about behavior change centers around needing to be more disciplined. The issue is…. how do you do that? I had always struggled with self-discipline and constantly felt bad because I couldn’t be as disciplined as I wanted to be. I kept asking myself why I couldn’t get my shit together! A lot of that changed when I learned discipline isn’t actually a skill, per scientific research.

What we think of as discipline is actually many different behavior change skills. And instead of needing to “just be more disciplined,” you can actually practice these skills and get better at them!

It helped a lot to realize there were things I could practice and skills to change my behavior instead of just producing the magical discipline I needed to stick with tasks and goals.

When it comes to what these skills are and how to practice them, I’ll defer to Body Brain Alliance and their “Foundations of Self-Discipline” program in the Change Academy membership! I use a lot of these ideas and skills in my coaching programs, but they have an incredible curriculum planned out that can apply to any type of behavior you want to change or do.

5. Discomfort is necessary for change.

Even when you’re making a change you want to make, it’s still going to be uncomfortable sometimes! Getting up to go to the gym when you’d rather stay in bed isn’t always the comfortable choice. Change isn’t going to go smoothly- there will be bumps in the road. Part of changing means rolling with the discomfort and letting yourself be there for a while. This is all normal! We’re not very good at staying uncomfortable, but that’s also a skill that can be practiced and improved.

Part of this is also realizing you can still do things even if it’s uncomfortable! You can still go into the gym or pick up the weight, even if it feels weird and new. The more you do it, the better it feels!

5. Your thoughts are just your thoughts.

Your brain tells you a lot of stuff. One of the biggest shifts for me is realizing that just because I think something, it doesn’t mean that has to dictate my actions!

Here’s a great example of this:
I’m at home, and the time for my workout is getting closer. I’m reading and feeling cozy- my brain is telling me “You don’t want to work out today; you can just push it to tomorrow and stay here where you’re comfy.” But…. is that true? The honest truth is I do want to work out, because I want to get stronger. Just because I’m having the thought that I should skip the gym doesn’t mean I actually have to.

That thought also doesn’t define me! Just because I’m thinking I should skip the gym doesn’t mean I’m a failure or that I’m lazy. My thoughts are just my thoughts, and I don’t have to act on them. When you can distance yourself from the thought, you can look at it more objectively.

Important Tip: Sometimes you’re feeling resistance to your task, but sometimes your brain is trying to tell you something important! Taking a moment to look at my thoughts objectively helps me determine which is which. Sometimes when my brain is telling me to skip the gym, I take a moment to assess what’s going on and realize my body is desperately trying to tell me to rest.

Next time you have one of these types of thoughts, add these two reframes:

1. I’m having the thought that…
2. Is that actually true? Does this need to change my plan?

6. All-or-something thinking.

This is an important shift I talk about ALL the time in my coaching programs. All-or-nothing thinking is thinking if you can’t do something 100%, you might as well not do it at all. Perfectionism is a HUGE topic with my clients and in behavior change in general.

When it comes to workouts, all-or-nothing thinking looks like “I worked late and don’t have enough time to get in my full workout, so I’m just doing to skip the whole thing.”

On the flipside, all-or-something thinking is the idea that something is better than nothing! It looks like doing part of your workout or doing something else active instead when you can’t do something 100%. 1% better is still an improvement, even if it’s not perfect.

This also happens a lot when people start a workout plan. They miss a day for whatever reason, and all of a sudden it’s not perfect anymore. At this point, a lot of people abandon the plan instead of continuing imperfectly. Spoiler: nothing is perfect. Continuing to take steps imperfectly is the way to make progress on anything.

7. Focus on one goal at a time.

More and more research is coming out that we’re actually really bad at multitasking/task switching. And the same goes for goals! Planners and self-help journals make you feel like you need to have a goal for every area of your life, but what that’s really doing is dividing your attention. Instead of making meaningful steps toward one goal, you’re taking little steps toward a lot of goals and never achieving any of them.

I’m completely guilty of this, as someone who likes to have a lot going on and always be working toward something. I’ve learned people tend to be really good at adding more (even if there’s no space in their lives for it!) instead of subtracting and focusing in. I’ve had to do a lot of work prioritizing and working toward one thing at a time.

This also is important for workouts! You reach a workout goal faster if you focus on that singular goal. I’m not usually trying to increase strength, power, muscle size, and endurance all at once.

Where can you simplify or prioritize in your life?

8. Am I procrasti-learning or procrasti-planning right now?

I’ve struggled with procrastination my entire life. I was the kid in school who was writing the paper the night before it was due or cramming for the test. When I started working for myself, I knew procrastination was going to be something I needed to work on. I didn’t have anyone else to set deadlines for me!

Did you know there are different types of procrastination? I sure didn’t. The ones I fall into the most are procrasti-learning and procrasti-planning.

Procrasti-learning: Procrastinating by learning more instead of taking action
Procrasti-planning: Procrastinating by making plans and listing out to-dos instead of starting a task

I fell into this hard when I started my business. There was a lot I needed to learn because I had no idea how to run a business, but I spent more time learning than doing. Instead of sitting there learning how to do complex email automations, what I really needed to be doing was getting on social media and talking about my programs. I was learning helpful things, but procrastinating the scary action of putting myself out there.

People do this with workout plans too. People look for the best exercises or the optimal workout plan, and they’re always planning to start working out instead of taking messy, imperfect action.

Awareness was important here! Once I knew these were options, I can catch myself in the middle of them. Sometimes I’ll literally tell myself “Oh I’m procrasti-planning right now. What’s the task I actually need to prioritize and do right now that I’m avoiding?”

9. Plan realistically.

I’ve always been an ambitious planner and guilty of not sticking with the plan when things don’t go perfectly. Once I learned about realistic and compassionate planning, it really changed how I thought about my schedule. This is something I talk a lot about with my clients too, because I’ve learned that many people plan for the ideal scenario, not the realistic one.

Planning realistically means taking into account things not going to plan: scheduling extra time for traffic on the way to and from the gym, time to transition between work and home, scheduling more relaxing movement during a busy week, etc.

Part of planning realistically is having backup plans, something I encourage my clients to create for their workouts. When there’s something I want to do consistently, I create a couple different plans: ideal, good, and good enough. All three move me toward my goals or help me be the person I want to be, but they fit different time constraints and energy levels. If the ideal plan is going to the gym for a workout but I’m feeling drained, the good enough plan might be taking a walk instead. It still gets me moving, but it matches the time and capacity I have.

10. Have a capture system.

In college I learned that if I didn’t write it down, it didn’t happen or didn’t stick in my brain. I became glued to my planner and notebook so I could always write down ideas as they came to me. What I much later learned from Karin is that this is called a capture system, and it’s an important first step to time management and prioritization.

A capture system is essentially a brain dump. For example, if you have a lot of to-dos bouncing around in your head, write them all down! Instead of trying to hold all of that in your head, you can let them go. It also gets easier to prioritize your tasks once you have them all in front of you. I learned that it’s so much easier to focus, sleep, etc. once I’ve written everything down. It’s no longer up to my brain to remember everything on its own!

Basically, whenever something pops into my head, I write it down. Usually this is done on my phone, but I love a good pen and paper list. I even keep a voice recorder in my car so I can record my ideas without having to get on my phone while driving. Each week, I go through what I’ve captured and put the thought or task where it’s supposed to go.

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The biggest themes in these 10 mindset shifts are:

1. work toward things you want that align with your values
2. it doesn’t have to be perfect, sometimes it just needs to happen
3. everything takes practice

These 10 mindset shifts aren’t things I thought about once and everything went smoothly afterward. They’re things I constantly remind myself about and work on. I’m not perfect at any of these, even when it comes to fitness. I also (per #7) don’t recommend on trying to work on all of these at once. Which one do you want to try first? Give it a few weeks, then come back to this article and try the next one.

Fitness mindset (motivation and related topics) is an important part of all my programs! When you want to exercise regularly, it isn’t just about learning the exercises, it’s about adjusting your mindset to build a strong relationship with exercising and making it a regular part of your life! Here’s how you can get started:

1. Train Your Brain is my 5 day fitness mindset course that helps you start reframing what you believe about fitness.

2. Full-Color Foundations and Creative Lifting Club, my group programs, are full of fitness mindset lessons and challenges!

3. In Prismatic Coaching, my 1:1 coaching program, you can get support for your specific mindset struggles and we work together to find solutions that work with your life.